


The Tenderness of Blood-stained Hands

by SillyBlue



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Demon Dean Winchester, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mark of Cain, Mpreg, Pregnant Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-20
Updated: 2014-07-20
Packaged: 2018-02-09 15:41:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1988475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SillyBlue/pseuds/SillyBlue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Trying to contain the violence of his new demonic nature was already difficult, but when Castiel shares unexpected news with him, Dean can't help but doubt that the blood stains on his hands will not taint everything he tries to protect.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Tenderness of Blood-stained Hands

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt "cas is pregnant and dean is freaking out because "what exactly the kid will be? And if he screw the poor kid up?? He is a demon how can he be a father???" And Cas just reassuring him that he'll be a good father".
> 
> The title sounds a bit more dramatic than the ficlet actually is.
> 
> Apologies for mistakes; this is my "try to relax even though you have to get on a plane" ficlet.

Dean has been on edge all day. It was one of the not so good days, where his eyes kept itching, his body felt ill-fitting even if it was his own and he was dying to go grab the blade and cut into something.

He had intentionally stepped into the dungeon with his laptop and a stack of books, knowing that he would not be able to get out of the trap and do any damage in case it got worse.

He looked up, forcing the darkness out of his eyes, when he heard steps. He could feel Castiel approaching and the next second the angel was opening the secret door, peering into the room.

“Why are you in here?” he asked.

“Wifi reception is better,” Dean replied flatly, not able to keep the irritation out of his voice. He closed his book and tossed it on the table, “why do you think I’m in here?” Castiel didn’t react much to the venom in Dean’s voice. He stepped into the room, leaving the door open and Dean was sure that Cas intended for him to come out. It was probably not gonna happen, not as long as Dean wanted to wrap his fingers around a neck and squeeze the life out of whatever monster was unfortunate enough to cross his path. Castiel stepped into the devils trap and there was a surge of power that washed over Dean. He blinked in surprise, waiting for his ears to get used to the ringing of Castiel’s Grace and his eyes revert back to normal. Cas was standing on the other side of the table, looking down at Dean. There was still something off, Dean just couldn’t place it. Since he was turned into a demon, he was able to pick up on things that he hadn’t been able to before. Castiel was familiar to him now; the sense of him being so much bigger than it seemed, the flickers of his true form that sometimes shone through, the feeling of his soft skin under Dean’s hands. But today something was different and Dean couldn’t quite figure out if it was just because he was sitting in a devil’s trap.

“Dean, I have to talk to you,” Cas said and Dean raised an eyebrow. “I would prefer not to do it here.”

“Cas, there’s a reason I’m here. So talk,” he replied, not really in the mood for talking. Castiel narrowed his eyes and for one moment Dean was a bit worried. Usually when Cas came to him to talk it was either about his futile quest to properly restore the angels to heaven, wings and all, or it led to sex. Castiel’s expression made Dean guess that it was not about sex.

“As you wish,” Castiel said, his voice slightly rough. He was annoyed, though he didn’t show it. “It has come to my attention that I’m pregnant.” Dean stared up at him, mind blank.

“What?”

“Pregnant,” Castiel repeated, slower this time, but that didn’t help Dean’s utter confusion in the slightest. “I understand that this comes as a surprise. I was surprised too. I had thought myself not being able to conceive your child. It seems that-“ Dean stopped him by raising one hand, the other covering his face. Castiel fell silent, waiting for Dean to continue.

“Are you kidding me?”

“I’m not,” Castiel replied and Dean used his second palm to cover his face as well.

“Of course you’re not,” Dean mumbled, feeling his heart beat’s frantic rhythm pounding in his ears. “This can’t be happening.” He let his hands drop and stared up at Cas. “It’s not gonna happen.”

“What are you talking about?” Castiel asked, and when Dean’s throat was closing up and no word came out, the angel continued: “What’s wrong?”

“You can’t be okay with this!” He made a vague gesture towards himself, hoping for Cas to understand. But if he did, he didn’t let Dean know.

“Are you not happy with this development?” he asked and Dean kept on staring at him. He stood up abruptly, making the chair topple over. “I was under the impression you liked children.”

“I like children alright!” Dean said, one hand covering his mouth.

“And it’s not a bad time to have a child now. It’s not the apocalypse, the threats coming from Metatron and Crowley have been neutralized. It seems like a good time to bring a child into this world.”

“Jesus Christ, Cas!” Dean shouted, but Cas just lifted an eyebrow. His calmness almost made Dean sick, because it couldn’t just be him, right? There was no way that Cas didn’t know how fucked up everything was.

“I think I am happy that I will be having a child,” Castiel said and that took the wind out of Dean. He stood there gaping and then he let his weight drop forwards, arms on the table, staring at the surface. “Dean…”

“I get it, man. And I’m happy for you. You deserve this but… Cas,” Dean looked up, unable to keep the pain out of his voice. “I’m a demon. This can’t possibly be what you want for your child.” Castiel looked at him and Dean could see that he was genuinely surprised, but then he frowned.

“What makes you think that this is not what I want? There’s nobody else I would rather do this with,” Castiel told him, and Dean had to look away when the stern expression melted into something far softer. Far more painful for Dean to watch.

“Cas, no… I’m going to fuck this up!” Dean lifted his arms, pointing at the walls of the dungeon. “Look where we are! I’m dangerous so I had to lock myself up from going out and killing! I want to have the blade in my hand, I want them to be covered in the blood of all the sons of bitches that aren’t clever enough to stay down.” He balled his hand into a fist. “I can’t-“ He stopped and swallowed. “Cas, I can’t hold a child with these hands.” He gave a start when Castiel reached out to lay his palm on Dean’s white knuckles. Dean’s eyes prickled and burned and he knew it wasn’t because of their blackness. “Cas, don’t do this to yourself or your kid.”

“Don’t do what? I _will_ be having this child, Dean,” Castiel said firmly, giving Dean’s fist a squeeze. “And I will have to accept if you do not want to be with me, but I can think of no better father for my child than you.” His voice was surprisingly soft and it hurt Dean. It hurt him that Cas still had confidence in him even though he was nothing but a murderous monster now.

“I don’t know Cas… What will a demon and an angel’s child be anyway?”

“That wouldn’t work. If you were a regular demon and if I were a regular angel then there would be no way that we could have a child,” Castiel explained patiently and Dean looked at him in surprise. “But I’ve been made human, even though I have Grace now. And you’re human even though you’ve been made into a demon by the Mark. In the greater scheme of things we are just two exceptional humans.” Dean studied Castiel dubiously.

“You’re just shitting me now. You’ve got no idea what you’ve got in your belly,” Dean decided and Castiel huffed a laugh.

“Not for the first time,” Castiel told him good naturedly and Dean shook his head. “But don’t worry… It’s not a threat. Not a Nephilim, not a Cambion. It’s something else, but I can feel that it has a bright, human soul.” Dean heaved a sigh, straightening and turning his hand to lace his fingers with Castiel’s.

“But Cas… I don’t trust myself… I messed up all chances I got at being a father…,” Dean told him after a long while.

“I trust you, Dean,” Castiel assured him. “If you decide that you want to be this child’s father then I will not let you just run away when you make a mistake. And you will make mistakes.” Dean looked at him with panic. “As will I. As do all parents. But we won’t make the kind of mistakes that will put our child in danger.”

“You don’t know that,” Dean told him sadly, “the world out there is terrible. And I’m a menace.”

“Yes, sometimes you really get on my nerves,” Castiel told him with a snort. Dean was offended for a moment, but then Castiel walked around the table to sit down on its edge, closer to Dean. “Dean…” He reached out again, to take both of Dean’s hands into his. “When I look at your hands I see how they always reach out to protect people. Yes, you have used your hands to destroy, but your first impulse is to protect. You’re gentle and you’re kind. You take on all kinds of terrible burdens just to allow others to be happy. I understand if you have little love for yourself as far too few people have told you how important and wonderful you are.” Dean couldn’t say anything, rendered mute by the love he could feel in Castiel’s touch, his voice and his gaze. It was almost too much, but somehow also not enough. He wanted to agree with him, he wanted to say the words in return, he wanted to hold him. But he held himself back.

“Please give yourself a chance. And give this child a chance to grow up with a wonderful father that will do everything in his power to protect them and raise them well,” Castiel asked.

“Cas… I don’t know. I just-“

“Please,” Castiel repeated firmly, looking into Dean’s eyes imploringly, without blinking. Dean opened his mouth, but in the end his resolve crumbled and the hope he had in his heart won. He pulled Castiel closer, lifting his hands to kiss his knuckles.

“Okay,” he agreed hoarsely and Castiel reached out to wipe his thumb over Dean’s wet cheeks. He let him, and when Cas was done, Dean sighed and bent down to press a kiss to Castiel’s forehead. Dean took a step back to look down at Castiel. Castiel smiled at him and Dean started grinning, then laughing.

“So we’re having a kid?”

“We are having a kid, yes,” Castiel affirmed. “Will you come out of the devil’s trap now or do I have to drag you out?”

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” Dean agreed with faked annoyance. He waited for Castiel to break the trap and then stepped out after him. The first thing he did when they were out of the dungeon, was lift Castiel up and swing him around once before kissing him. He kept his hold on him, Castiel’s feet still not quite touching the floor, just pressing his forehead to Castiel’s and whispering his gratefulness against Castiel’s forehead.

When Sam found them a couple of minutes later he just raised an eyebrow.

“Is this some kind of angelic-demonic mating ritual?” he joked and Dean finally set Cas back down on the floor, but didn’t quite let go of him yet, his hand holding on to the trench coat.

“The mating was already successful,” Castiel replied, but didn’t say more on this. Sam rolled his eyes and Dean felt an overwhelming urge to just get his hands all over Cas and give his brother a hint. So he did. The possessive and protective way Dean’s hand reached out to cover Castiel’s stomach and his suggestively raised eyebrows made Sam stare in confusion.

“You didn’t-,” he started, but didn’t get far because Dean grinned broadly. Sam made a high pitched noise and a heartbeat later he had his arms wrapped around Cas and Dean.

“And now he’s crying. Awesome,” Dean complained, but he was glad for Sam’s honestly happy reaction.

“You cried too,” Castiel reminded him with a smirk.

“Did not.” Castiel rolled his eyes, but didn’t contradict him.

“I’m looking forwards to you having another chance at being a father,” he said and the sudden change in topic surprised Dean, but then he smiled.

“Yeah… Thank you… Thanks for having faith in me,” Dean told him. Castiel’s reply got lost in Sam wailing something. But it was alright. He knew what Castiel had said.

_You have always been worth it._

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! ♥


End file.
